History as Fiction -- Elizabeth

                 I was glad not to take the PSAT yesterday, but I realized today that one thing I will miss about it is the memes. It’s a little sad to suddenly, after two years of being included, find yourself on the outside of such a massive inside joke. It makes me wonder if this is what it’s like to become an adult and watch the young whippersnappers’ pop culture get more and more unintelligible. It also made me think about memes more generally. When I was younger, I used to be one of those infuriatingly self-righteous people who refused to ever use internet slang and corrected people on their grammar at every opportunity. I thought internet memes were at best pointless and juvenile and, at worst, intellectually damaging. But today I have a different view.                  I think memes and, more generally, internet slang, have started to serve a really interesting cultural purpose. When tal...

            Once upon a time, on a pool deck not so far away, there lived a large spiky cricket who wished to live a long and happy life. Unfortunately for him, the chlorine-infused teenagers governing his fortune had other ideas. No sooner was he spotted hopping along the tiles when, with one fell swoop, his back leg was crushed by a black croc birkenstock sandal wielded by a shrieking member of the Uni swim team. Still, our valiant warrior persevered.  He continued his journey, slower since he was dragging half his body behind him, but never giving up -- even though the freedom of the outside air was at least fifty meters, four doors, and countless stomping feet away from him. As we watched his noble struggles, we argued about whether or not to put him out of his misery with another hit with the sandal. One brave chlorinated soul decided to take the responsibility upon herself, and hopped out of the pool to retrieve the poor six-legged adventurer. ...